How to handle parent/teacher disagreements

What do you do when you and your child’s teacher disagree? Perhaps you don’t see eye to eye on the methods your child is being taught or evaluated with. Or maybe you feel like your child is being treated unfairly. What about homework? Do you feel that your child is being given too much homework or expected to do too much? Sometimes parents just don’t care for their child’s teacher and do not have a particular reason for their feelings. It is not uncommon for parents and teachers to disagree. There are some things you can do as a parent to make the situation better and to ensure a healthy relationship between you and your child’s teacher.

You don’t have to “like” a teacher for him/her to be a good teacher.
Think back to when you were in school. Did you ever have a teacher you just didn’t like? What were your reasons? Was it because they were too hard on you as a student? Did they make you write sentences or correct you for being disruptive in class? Maybe you just didn’t like the way they looked or their personality? We have all probably had a teacher that we remember not liking in school. However, just because we didn’t like the teacher, didn’t mean he/she wasn’t doing a good job.

The same thing may happen now that we are adults and have children of our own. Your child may have a teacher that for one reason or another you just don’t like. Keep in mind that personalities are different. Your child’s teacher may have a different personality or approach to handling situations with your child than you have, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It is okay for parents and teachers to not have the same philosophies on everything and it is okay for personalities to be different.

Be respectful of your child’s teacher.
No matter how you feel about your child’s teacher you should always be respectful. Remember she is a person too. Consider her feelings when you talk to her about your child. Put yourself in her shoes and treat her with respect.

Avoid playing the “Blame Game”.
Parents and teachers often blame each other for problems that are going on with the child. For example, the teacher may be frustrated with the parent’s lack of involvement and the parent may feel overwhelmed with the teacher’s expectations. Instead of getting angry with the teacher, why not talk things over with her. If the teacher sends home notes to be signed try to send them back in. This is one of the ways she communicates with you. If you are having a difficult time getting your child to do his homework or bring notes home, talk to his or her teacher. Let her know what is going on and why you are having difficulties. Maybe the two of you can come up with a solution if you talk things over without being angry or blaming.

Use discretion when you talk to or about your child’s teacher.
Be cautious about what you say and whom you say it to. You do not want your child to overhear negative comments made about his teacher. It will cause confusion for the child and may cause the teacher to feel that she is being undermined. Talking about your child’s teacher with other parents may cause tension between the teacher and parents. It is better to talk to the teacher directly. Furthermore, you do not want something you said repeated to the teacher or other students incorrectly.

Talk to the teacher directly.
It usually best to talk to the teacher directly. Don’t you prefer for someone to talk to you about a problem first before going over your head to talk to someone? Teachers deserve the same respect. Talk to your child’s teacher first about whatever problems you may be concerned about. Be open to not only talking but to listening.

If these methods are not working you may need to discuss things with the principal or a school counselor. Sometimes it is necessary to find other alternatives when parents and teachers are not getting along.
from: www.justmommies.com

Summer Learning

On average students lose approximately 2.6 months of grade level equivalency in math skills during the summer months.
Source: Johns Hopkins University Center for Summer Learning

Tips to Keep Your Child Learning During The Summer

Most children think of summer vacation as a chance to play and rest their minds from learning and homework. Yet, as children prepare for summer vacation, parents might want to consider ways to keep children active physically and mentally throughout their time away from school. Since nutrition and physical activity have a direct impact on academic achievement, both mental and physical stimulation should be available and provided during the summer. Too much time away from any educational stimulation can have an adverse effect on a student's cumulative learning progress.

"Healthy bodies and healthy minds go hand-in-hand," said U.S. Secretary of Education Rod Paige. "Parents can play a vital role in their child's academic achievement by keeping them stimulated during the summer to exercise their bodies and challenge their minds." Here are some more statistics provided by Johns Hopkins University Center for Summer Learning:
Only about 10% of students in the US participate in summer school or schools with non-traditional schedules
Approximately 56% of students would like to be involved in a summer program that helps them keep up with schoolwork or prepare for the next grade
Studies show that teachers may spend up to 4-6 weeks re-teaching information students forgot over the summer
All students experience some learning loss when not involved in some educational pursuits during time off from school
Children usually do not have the same meal schedule in the summer and may not get proper nutrition

What can you do as a parent to prevent learning loss and keep your child stimulated throughout the 2-3 months they may be off from school?

Get creative. Put together some ideas and formulate a plan weeks before the school closing date. As parents, you can help your children keep connected to school activities by setting time aside weekly for educational activities. In addition you may want to set specific goals, such as reading one book per month. Here are some ideas to get you started:
Check your local community for educational events such as seminars, summer learning camps, recreational/educational programs
Look through your city's parks and recreation guide and your library's programs
Ask your child's teacher for suggestions of topics to study, books to read, or activities to pursue
Set up one day a week when your child's friend (s) may be getting together and plan a learning activity with other parents' input
Research parent-approved Internet learning sites
Encourage your child to pursue an existing or new hobby, such as dance, theater, sports, or crafts
Take your children and their friends on a field trip to a zoo, museum, exhibition, or someplace new
Suggest your child keep a journal of summer activities to keep them working on their writing skills or have them write fun short stories
Have a family reading night where you all read together and a family discussion night where you discuss world issues or a topic of interest to everyone
Enroll in a summer tutoring program (see http://www.tutoringsolutions.net) Just remember to balance learning with fun and keep the educational opportunities light! You'll get more cooperation and better results.

Consider giving your child a few hours/week of academic support at home with a tutor. Call today to sign up for Summer Solutions at 520-250-9014.

General Homework Tips for Parents

SOLUTIONS FOR SUCCESS
April 2007
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Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. Dr. Seuss

GENERAL HOMEWORK TIPS FOR PARENTS
Make sure your child has a quiet, well-lit place to do homework.
Avoid having your child do homework with the television on or in places with other distractions, such as people coming and going.

Make sure the materials your child needs, such as paper, pencils and a dictionary, are available.
Ask your child if special materials will be needed for some projects and get them in advance.

Help your child with time management.
Establish a set time each day for doing homework. Don‘t let your child leave homework until just before bedtime. Think about using a weekend morning or afternoon for working on big projects, especially if the project involves getting together with classmates.

Be positive about homework.
Tell your child how important school is. The attitude you express about homework will be the attitude your child acquires.

When your child does homework, you do homework.
Show your child that the skills they are learning are related to things you do as an adult. If your child is reading, you read too. If your child is doing math, balance your checkbook.

When your child asks for help, provide guidance, not answers.
Giving answers means your child will not learn the material. Too much help teaches your child that when the going gets rough, someone will do the work for him or her.

When the teacher asks that you play a role in homework, do it.
Cooperate with the teacher. It shows your child that the school and home are a team. Follow the directions given by the teacher.

If homework is meant to be done by your child alone, stay away.
Too much parent involvement can prevent homework from having some positive effects.
Homework is a great way for kids to develop independent, lifelong learning skills.
Stay informed.
Talk with your child‘s teacher. Make sure you know the purpose of homework and what your child‘s class rules are.

Help your child figure out what is hard homework and what is easy homework.
Have your child do the hard work first. This will mean he will be most alert when facing the biggest challenges. Easy material will seem to go fast when fatigue begins to set in.

Watch your child for signs of failure and frustration.
Let your child take a short break if she is having trouble keeping her mind
on an assignment.

Reward progress in homework.
If your child has been successful in homework completion and is working
hard, celebrate that success with a special event (e.g., pizza, a walk, a trip
to the park) to reinforce the positive effort.

Source:http://www.ed.gov
More tips in the next issue.

Eleven Tips to Help Your Child Prepare for Tests
To help children prepare adequately for tests (whether teacher-made or standardized), you can do several things to provide support and create a positive test-taking experience.
1. The best way to prepare for tests is to study, know the work, and take the right courses.
2. If your child is nervous at test time, ask her teacher for tips on helping her relax.
3. Make sure that your child is in school during the testing sessions. Do not plan any doctor or dental appointments on test dates.
4. Make sure that you are aware of your child's performance and that you can help interpret the results when they become available.
5. Remember to keep well-informed about your child's tests. Know how test results are used, and how they will affect your child's placement in school.
6. If there are major differences between standardized test scores and school grades, find out why.
7. Encourage your child to study over a period of time rather than "cram" the night before.
8. Encourage your child to listen carefully to all test-taking directions given by the teacher and to ask questions about any directions that are unclear.
9. See that your child gets his/her regular amount of sleep before the tests and is well-rested.
10. Make sure that your child eats his/her usual breakfast on the day of the test. Hunger can detract from a good test performance.
11. Encourage your child to do his/her best.
Brought to you by the American School Counselor Association

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Math Homework Tips for Parents

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Math Homework Tips for Parents
• Encourage your child to use a daily math assignment book.
• Follow the progress your child is making in math. Check with your child daily about his homework.
• If you don't understand your child's math assignments, engage in frequent communication with his or her teacher.
• If your child is experiencing problems in math, contact the teacher to learn whether he or she is working at their grade level and what can be done at home to help improve academic progress.
• Seek out tutoring after-school if your child really needs help.
• Use household chores as opportunities for reinforcing math learning such as cooking and repair activities.
• Try to be aware of how your child is being taught math, and don't teach strategies and shortcuts that conflict with the approach the teacher is using. Check in with the teacher and ask what you can do to help. Ask the teacher about online resources that you can use with your child at home.
• At the beginning of the year, ask your child's teacher for a list of suggestions that will enable you to help your child with math homework.
http://www.ed.gov
More tips in the next issue.
The Hurried Child
by Carleton Kendrick, Ed.M.,LCSW
The pressure to grow up fast, to achieve early in the very great middle-class America. There is no room today for the "late bloomer"... Children have to achieve success early or they are regarded as losers. 
—David Elkind
The call-to-arms issued fifteen years ago by David Elkind in his groundbreaking book has unfortunately gone unheeded. Frighteningly, today's hurried child is much more hurried.
Sociologist J. Garbarino believes that because of this speed-up from childhood to adulthood, childhood may well become a "luxury." Forget The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. That's petty larceny. How about the Country That Stole Childhood? Now that's grand theft!
How are our children responding to our forcing them to grow up fast, as we insist we are simply trying to make them more "competent?"
The facts speak for themselves:
• Teens are killing themselves and each other at triple the rate they were twenty years ago.
• Teen pregnancy rates in the United States are the highest for any Western nation.
• Fourth-grade girls are dieting in record numbers.
• Serious sports-related injuries have increased several-hundred-fold.
• Twenty percent of youngsters are "flunking" kindergarten.
• Millions of children are medicated daily to make them more "educable" and "manageable" in school and at home

Heard enough about their carefree days of youth? Aren't you glad you had yours when you did?
Twenty years ago, I didn't see children in my therapy practice who resembled burnt-out, career-driven, Type A adults. I didn't see kids with chronic stress-related headaches, stomachaches and free-floating anxiety. I do now. Lots of them! Little kids. Big kids. Kindergarteners with stress headaches because they're not learning to read fast enough (even though developmentally they're doing just fine). Little girls who are afraid to tell their parents that they don't want to spend four hours a day practicing ice skating or gymnastics. Ninth graders who tell me they have to play competitive league basketball all summer or else their high school coach will think they're not serious about making next year's team. Parents of a fourth grader asking me if I think their daughter has the "right stuff" for an Ivy League college. FOURTH GRADE!!!
I was "allowed" to have a childhood. I played thousands of hours of sports, not supervised or controlled by adults. We worked out the "rules" of the games we played. We settled (most) arguments peacefully. We developed skills at our own pace. Everyone played. No one was denied playing time because they weren't "good."
My friends and I weren't pressured to be the best at everything, faster than everyone else. We hung out. We goofed around. We got in trouble. We got scared. We did our jobs. We were kids
Single-parent families...divorce...two-worker families...economic and job insecurity....I've heard the reasons why hurried, frightened parents hurry their children through childhood. I expect any day now to see a virtual reality childhood marketed.
So when you see your kid "doing nothing," whether she's sitting on the front steps, seeming to stare into space, or making a space colony under the dining room table, or re-reading a comic book for the 100th time, let her be. She's just taking a little time out of her busy day to have a childhood.
Source: Family education.com

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How Parents Can Help with Homework

SOLUTIONS FOR SUCCESS
February 2007
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How Parents Can Help with Homework

Research also shows that parent involvement can have either a positive or negative impact on the value of homework. Parent involvement can be used to speed up a child's learning. Homework can involve parents in the school process. It can enhance parents' appreciation of education. It can give them an opportunity to express positive attitudes about the value of success in school.
But parent involvement may also interfere with learning. For example, parents can confuse children if the teaching techniques they use differ from those used in the classroom. Parent involvement in homework can turn into parent interference if parents complete tasks that the child is capable of completing alone.
When mothers and fathers get involved with their children's homework, communication between the school and family can improve. It can clarify for parents what is expected of students. It can give parents a firsthand idea of what students are learning and how well their child is doing in school.
Research shows that if a child is having difficulty with homework, parents should become involved by paying close attention. They should expect more requests from teachers for their help. Also parents may want to consider getting outside academic help for their child. The child may benefit from one-to-one focused instruction from a tutor. This could address the student’s weak areas and catch them up with their academics. This may also provide the parent with much needed stress relief from the “homework battles.” Parents often claim that once their child begins and continues to get the help that they need with school, there is an immediate change in their attitude.
If a child is doing well in school, parents should consider shifting their efforts to providing support for their child's own choices about how to do homework. Parents should avoid interfering in the independent completion of assignments.
As this brief introduction suggests, homework can be an effective way for students to improve their learning and for parents to communicate their appreciation of schooling. Since a great many things influence the impact of homework achievement, expectations for homework's effects must be realistic.
Homework policies and practices should give teachers and parents the flexibility to take into account the unique needs and circumstances of their students. That way, they can maximize the positive effects of homework and minimize the negative ones.
http://www.ed.gov/parents/academic/involve/homework/part.html#1
More tips in the next issue.

How to Allow Peace and Calm into your Life
by Deborah Rodriguez-Baggesen, M.Ed.
Last issue we discussed evaluating your life structure. Did you learn anything? Is everything the way that you would like it or do you want to change some things. Ask yourself, do I have free time during the day? Do I allow time for myself to eat and exercise? Do I allow time for plenty of daily rest? Are there things that I do during the day that I do not have to do or can delegate to someone else? Think about your responses to these questions. Are there changes that you can make which will allow calm and peace into your life? If there are, the best way to make changes is in small increments.
Perhaps you can implement quiet time for 20 minutes each evening. During quiet time, there is no TV watching, no music, no noise. Perhaps you can limit the amount of TV watched per evening. Start small by reducing the time that the TV is on by 1/2 hour by turning it off a little earlier in the evening. If you feel like you are constantly driving your children to events, try to get other parents to carpool. If you are able to reduce your time in the car by one trip, that would be a great success.
There are many ways to achieve calm and peach in your life. To begin, you must realize the need. Then begin, one step at a time.
For a month at a glance calendar to download please go to the following link. http://www.tutoringsolutions.net/resources.html
To get Support that Allows Peace and Calm into your Life, contact Debbie Rodriguez-Baggesen at debbie@tutoringsolutions.net OR 520-250-9014.

In the News

What are the Ramifications of Making or Not Making Huge Life Decisions?
Panelists:
Alexandra Meyn, University of Arizona MBA Candidate 2007;
Deborah Rodriguez-Baggesen, President, Tutoring Solutions, LLC;
Erin Wedemeyer, Account Executive, Power Women Investing

Thinking about the kind of future you want? What are your dreams for your career, education, finances, or relationships? And what is the financial path to get there? This workshop is for women who are beginning to make those important life decisions that will have impact later on. Our panel will cover significant investments you can make now that will lead to later independence: investing in your self, investing in the future and the relationships you have that will help or hinder you in those huge life decisions.

For more information about this and other seminars at the YWCA Women and Money Conference http://www.tutoringsolutions.net/press_center.html
or http://www.ywcatucson.org/3rdwamconf/Wam2007Conf.pdf

Our People Make the Difference!
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How to Allow Peace and Calm into your Life

How to Allow Peace and Calm into your Life
by Deborah Rodriguez-Baggesen, M.Ed.
Many families are increasingly sharing with me that their lives are hectic, busy, stressed and scheduled. What can you do? How can you stop what is already started to allow change? What will bring peace and calm back into your life? Recognizing that this is a concern is first step. Once you recognize that a change needs to be made you are well on your way to allowing it to happen.
If you feel busy you probably are. That feeling is your intuition telling you that you need to take a step back, evaluate your life structure and begin to make changes. These changes should be in small increments and in one area at a time. We know that children like and thrive in structured environments. Sweeping changes all at once cause and create more chaos which will add to the problem, not solve it. The easiest way to evaluate your life structure is to list all of the tasks that fill up your day.
Obtain a blank month at a glance calendar. Use a pencil to list the items that you do each day in each day’s box. For example, list the time sleeping, getting dressed, eating, attending school, working, commuting, exercising, athletic practice and events, volunteer work, and any other item that you do. List them in daily chronological order and write the time of this event next to it. Complete this for an entire month. If your schedule changes quite a bit from week to week, go back into the previous weeks and complete what you did in the past. The goal is to obtain a clear visual view of the amount of time spent on activities during a month.
Once this is complete, set it aside for a day or two. Revisit it when you are fresh and awake. Evaluating your life structure while tired may increase your stress rather than eliminate it. Objectively evaluate the tasks and time spent on events. Ask yourself, do I have free time during the day? Do I allow time for myself to eat and exercise? Do I allow time for plenty of daily rest? Daily rest allows our bodies to heal themselves, rest and keeps us well and happy. Are there things that I do during the day that I do not have to do or can delegate to someone else? If you are having trouble evaluating your schedule, obtain the opinion of a third party. This person that you ask to evaluate your schedule should be someone that you think is calm, relaxed and lives the way that you would like to live. Think about your responses to these questions. Are there changes that you can make which will allow calm and peace into your life.
For a blank month at a glance calendar to download please go to the following link. http://www.tutoringsolutions.net/resources.html
Next month: Evaluation and Implementation suggestions.
Getting Support to Allow Peace and Calm into your Life, contact Debbie Rodriguez-Baggesen at debbie@tutoringsolutions.net OR 520-250-9014.

Power of the Word

SOLUTIONS FOR SUCCESS
January 2007
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The Power of the Word
You can use these everyday phrases to instill confidence, self-respect, and thoughtfulness in your children, spouse, coworkers, relatives, everyone.
Please. After all these years, "please" is still a classic. When you ask a favor of anyone – including children – this "magic word" acknowledges that you are asking for a behavior that will help you and/or make you happy. (P.S.: Don't forget to say "thank you" when the job is done.)
Good job! Good for you. Self-respect and self-confidence grow when your child's efforts and performance are rewarded. Whenever possible, give your child lots of praise. Be sure your praise is honest and specific. Focus on your child's efforts and progress, and help her identify her strengths.
It's time to... "It's time to get ready for bed," or "do homework," or "turn off the TV." Young children need structure in their daily lives to provide a measure of security in an often insecure world. It is up to you as a parent to establish and maintain a workable schedule of activities, always remembering that children benefit from regular mealtimes and bedtimes.
I love you. Everyone needs love and affection and a feeling of acceptance and belonging. We can't assume that children know and understand our love for them unless we tell them. Letting your child know that you love him (and showing him with countless hugs) is important not only in toddlerhood, but also as he gets older.

In the News

What are the Ramifications of Making or Not Making Huge Life Decisions?
Panelists:
Alexandra Meyn, University of Arizona MBA Candidate 2007;
Deborah Rodriguez-Baggesen, President, Tutoring Solutions, LLC;
Erin Wedemeyer, Account Executive, Power Women Investing

Thinking about the kind of future you want? What are your dreams for your career, education, finances, or relationships? And what is the financial path to get there? This workshop is for women who are beginning to make those important life decisions that will have impact later on. Our panel will cover significant investments you can make now that will lead to later independence: investing in your self, investing in the future and the relationships you have that will help or hinder you in those huge life decisions.

For more information about this and other seminars at the YWCA Women and Money Conference http://www.tutoringsolutions.net/press_center.html
or http://www.ywcatucson.org/3rdwamconf/Wam2007Conf.pdf

Brain Teaser (last issue with answer to previous issue)

Open Your Book to… Answer
Seth needs to read pages 234 and 235. Because the numbers are on facing pages, you can estimate what they are by first finding the square root of 54,990. The square root of 54,990 is 234.49946. Round 234.49946 down to the nearest whole number to get the first page number, 234. Divide 54,990 by 234 to get the second page number, 235. Check: The product of 234 and 235 is 54,990.
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Words to Use with Your Kids Every Day

SOLUTIONS FOR SUCCESS
December 2006
Our People Make the Difference!
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Words to Use with Your Kids Every Day

You can use these everyday phrases to instill confidence, self-respect, and thoughtfulness in your children.
How can I help? Let your child know you are willing and available to help her accomplish a particular task that may be difficult for her to manage on her own. You might say: "I think you can read that story by yourself now. Let me know if you need help with a new word." As your child takes on projects in school, encourage her to think of specific steps that are necessary to complete a project. You both can decide which tasks your child can handle on her own and which ones she'll need help with.
Let's all pitch in. A child is never too young to learn that cooperation and team effort make many jobs easier and speedier – and often more fun: "Let's all pitch in and finish raking the leaves so we can go in and bake cookies," or "Let's all pitch in and clean up the kitchen or we'll miss the movie." Family activities and group chores can develop into pleasant rituals that enrich a child's life and create fond memories.
How about a hug? Don't just tell your child you love him – show him. Research indicates that young children deprived of physical touch and displays of affection often fail to thrive. As children grow older, they vary in the ways they like us to show affection. Some love to be cuddled, while others prefer a quick hug or pat on the shoulder. It's important to be aware of what your child enjoys most at a particular age.

Multiple Intelligences (continued)

According to Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences, one of the intelligences is a Interpersonal. This has to do with interaction with others. People in this category are usually extroverts and are characterized by their sensitivity to others' moods, feelings, temperaments, and motivations and their ability to cooperate in order to work as a group. They communicate effectively and empathize easily with others, and may be either leaders or followers. They typically learn best by working with others and often enjoy discussion and debate. Do you recognize this type of intelligence in your child or in yourself?
See the next issue for more.
source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_multiple_intelligences

Brain Teaser
 
Open Your Book to…
Seth didn't hear which page numbers in his Math textbook he's supposed to read for homework. His friend, Aisha, won't tell him the page numbers. She does tell him that they are facing pages and that the product of the two page numbers is 54,990.
What are the numbers on the two facing pages that Seth needs to read for homework?
see next month's Newsletter for the answer

In the News

What are the Ramifications of Making or Not Making Huge Life Decisions?

Panelists:
Alexandra Meyn, University of Arizona MBA Candidate 2007;
Deborah Rodriguez-Baggesen, President, Tutoring Solutions, LLC;
Erin Wedemeyer, Account Executive, Power Women Investing

Thinking about the kind of future you want? What are your dreams for your career, education, finances, or relationships? And what is the financial path to get there? This workshop is for women who are beginning to make those important life decisions that will have impact later on. Our panel will cover significant investments you can make now that will lead to later independence: investing in your self, investing in the future and the relationships you have that will help or hinder you in those huge life decisions.

For more information about this and other seminars at the YWCA Women and Money Conference http://www.tutoringsolutions.net/press_center.html
or http://www.ywcatucson.org/3rdwamconf/Wam2007Conf.pdf

Our People Make the Difference!
See our website for more details www.tutoringsolutions.net OR
Call today to schedule a consultation! 520-250-9014. Ask about our flat rate plan!
If you no longer wish to receive communication from us, please reply to this email and write unsubscribe in the subject line.